Information on romance scams and scammers.
#59487 by devastated Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:54 pm
Hi, I realize I should post this here instead of personal accounts....
I'm not ready to say for sure my situation is a scam, but part of it although not the deciding factor is I'm not sure how they usually end. Everything I've read from people's accounts don't really say how, they just made it seem inherently obvious, but in my case, I've had my "relationship" for almost a year now and I thought if it was a scam, it would also end obviously by now. The majority of money I've provided was huge and pretty much within the first few months, and given that he should be pretty aware that I didn't really have much left and would take forever to get any more, I thought if he was truly a scammer, that would be time to exit because the rest of my situation took a good 7 months to get maybe 40% of the rest. And this was with more time invested in me than those first few months for a lot less. Wouldn't they stop wasting their time and have moved on, or disappeared then? Granted, I unfortunately was the one to be persistent with contact given how it was for me in the situation, but from reading how heartless and evil they are, I don't think that would've swayed them esp. when I made absolutely no offer of more money in any way, and if anything, I had pretty much refused for a long while after those huge initial chunks.
I guess I'm just looking for people's account of how things ended for them. But specifically in my situation, I've pretty much have put in all my savings. I'm completely frightened and at a loss, because if I ever lose my job, I am in unthinkable circumstances. I don't have a large circle and even nonexistent now since I had to isolate myself because of the nature of my relationship. But anyways, I'm looking more for those situations where people have unfortunately handed over money, esp. large amounts. I think I can already guess at how the ones where people were smart enough to catch it before giving a dime played out.

#59493 by Bummed2 Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:16 pm
Hi devastated,
I personally know how you feel. I have been in your shoes, in matter of fact I am in your shoes. The people here are great. They will help you out with whatever you need. I needed someone to listen, & not critize me for the wrong choices I have made. The support here is wonderful. I feel I have finally found a place that understands. I believe they the scammers will hang on as long as they think they can still get a dime from you. They don't care about you, they only care about themselves. I too, am now realizing that. I just wished I would of known about this site 9 months ago.
#59553 by Violet One Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:30 am
I too know how you feel. I only recently discovered i was being scammed and thought i was in love. He did not give up until i had proof he was lying, kept up the syrup and emotional blackmail right until the end. When it did end as soon as he realised i knew I was suprised that the thing i felt more than anything was relief, irrespective of how i was feeling up until then, which was very torn and a little humiliated. On some level i knew, but i did not want to beleive it. I really wanted to beleive he was telling the truth, and now i cant even be sure i was only dealing with one person.
I lost 3000 which is a lot for me, and i jerried and woke up before i gave more. Thankfully. A friend sent me a link to this website as what he read was very similar to my story. So that is why i am here. And i am thankful for that.
Have you been in physical contact with them, or has it all been online and via phone etc
Not sure if this helps
#59629 by devastated Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:26 pm
There was no physical contact, that was the main deal. All this long year has been just waiting for something simple like that, that I guess was the carrot in front of the donkey. But it was majority phone and chat, I think mostly phone as time progressed. Unfortunately, I never got to video chat which I think would've saved me all this heartache and huge loss.
#59642 by John DeLaney Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:42 pm
@ Devastated

Romance scammers are the snake pit of any form of scammers. They are extremely well skilled in manipulating peoples emotions, feelings.

They will listen more than other scammers, and turn their messages to what they think will work with each victim.

In some ways they are worse than actual physical relationships, because you let all your normal reluctance to talk go. You tell them things that you may hide from close friends/relatives, you tell them things that you would never tell anyone else.

And they use this trust that you have in them to steal slowly from you.

They will ask for a small loan, maybe "my paycheque was late this week" and you will send $100

My wife died, I have a 10 yr old daughter, who needs ...........

I love you

You are the first person I have ever met that understands me

When you finally realise what has happened, I don't know about you, but whenever I am dealing with them, I need a long hot shower to wash the scum off me.

I'm sorry for what has happened to you, there is nothing I, or any of us here in Scamwarners can do to stop the feelings, but feel free to vent off in here if you want to. We all understand what you are going through

John DeLaney
#59644 by devastated Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:15 am
Thanks for the support. I'm really glad I have found this site, I ironically searched initially when things started with the scum, but very unfortunately didn't find much. Even though I couldn't handle even the idea I am another victim of such a coldblooded crime, now with all the shock and trying to accept it, being able to focus on this as a resource instead of that monster is helping tremendously.
I completely agree about the romance scam being the worst. They have absolutely no conscious to target something just so sacred and delicate, and so deliberately. To be able to cross all lines, it's like being capable of killing your own blood without even needing a reason, I just still can't believe that it's not real or true when I play over all the details of my interactions. The extent to which the monster went was just unthinkable to me that left me to think no one can stoop so low or can act just that well. One example is how he had concocted that his only surviving relative, his sister, died during our "relationship", and it was unbelievably heartfelt and I am usually good at detecting even the slightest falseness. I was arranging to go to his home country to be there for the funeral in fact, but got a lot of runarounds where it would be too costly and nearly impossible to shift my time off work to make it doable. Funny thing is he never really asked for money on that aspect and even later when he claimed his only niece/nephew were involved in a tragic fire and he had to stay there for a while longer. Also, he always stated his sister doesn't have money or that he could even ask, so I didn't see going that far to "kill off" someone was necessary with me. Again,all that added to my belief in him and his situation because of just how wickedly well he expressed his emotions so genuinely and that he didn't press for any money for the whole situation with his remaining family. If anything, he ended up selling his car, one of the few assets left to aid with all that.
It's still really hard to have to live with the fact that I basically worked the past decade for almost nothing because it's all gone. This is worse than losing that amount of money to gambling, drugs or addictions.
#59739 by bentley1991 Fri Jul 22, 2011 11:21 pm
Hi, I just read your post. You are asking how these romance things usually end? Mine was bad of course. My fault for getting involved with a stranger online, phone calls. Sending Huge amounts of money. I fell for the whole crap story he gave, gave money, lost most everything. I am recovering slowly, though mentally will take a long time. I got all the great phone calls,emails, flowers sent and all that. So of course I thought wow, finally met someone who is good... Well, about 6mos into it all, I kind of figured something was strange with it all. Then I stopped talking to him, cut him off of the IM thing. Then he emails me a few months later, saying How I was humiliating him..... Wow... who humiliated who/?????? He swore he would pay me back everything. All I told him was I would believe it when I see it... In Cash.... He turned right around and emailed me asking for money..... OMG... All I said was NO MONey.... havent heard from him since..

It did break my heart. But I know its my fault I fell for a scammer. So, you have sent him alot of money. STOP SENDING IT NOW... DONT SEND IT AGAIN..... Protect yourself, stop communicating with this man.. You dont want to lose anymore. Thats all I can say to try and help, They are horrible thieves..... They will take, take. till we cut them off....... Please care for your self now....
#61310 by debra Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:06 am
Hi ,

Guess I was the latest victim to this a scammer on line, gosh my heart is still not convinced that he Daniel Coleman from Houston Tex ([email protected] a fake, gosh only onthe 26th July he had sent me his picture with his mum and even called me, to say tath he ws coming to Dubai to see me and on Friday 26th he was so excited that he was coming and gave me his flight number, I ws really thrilled, so later that evening I texted the lady through whom he used to chat with me and asked he what colour shirt he was wearign sot aht I could surprise him on the airport I get a msg back taht he has not baoraded the flight and they have asked police for help, then in teh wee hours of the mornin gi get a msg that he has been in an accident, phew i was shocked and upset, i kept getting text till a while back askignme to send MR 6000/- gosh I dont have that kind of money, I askedk to speak to him DC adn he did speak, but I cannot seem to understand, he gave me two number sin the US to call but those numbers only ring, gosh this romance has brought a lot of pain but an experience too. Okay bute before that I lost $5000/- all my salary went down the drain.

Better late than never, if it is genunine thing he will come back to me but if not then its is history and into the scam box it goes.

I wrote to the US emabssy in KL and here too and gave them all his contact and pictures too :cry:
So that is that poor me!
#61428 by Bubbles Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:34 am
Hi debra, you indeed are dealing with a scammer. They always have excuses about why they will NEVER get together with you. You cannot understand his speech because he is not the person you believe him to be.

He will contact you again and he is still a scammer. He only wants money from you. Your best course of action is to block the scammer's email address and any other way you are being contacted by the scamming group. I also encourage you to change your telephone number and not give it to anyone in the scamming group.

Drop contact with them since you know what they are doing to you.

Bubbles, former Scamwarners moderator.

Rest in Peace 24 June 2015.

Gone, but never forgotten.
#62200 by debra Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:31 am wrote:IP Address Quick ReportIP Address: Yahoo! City: SunnyvaleCountry of Origin: United States* For a complete report on this IP address goto ipTRACKERonline
#62282 by anita42 Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:21 pm
@Devastated. I totally cut off contact with my scammer a couple of weeks ago. I am following their advice and just ignoring him with no explanation, since I do agree letting him know what I know will only help him to be a better scammer. I do feel really stupid for getting manipulated, but I think most of us here have been in this situation and they are really good at what they do. I am educated, don't suffer from low self esteem and am not unattractive and it happened to me. I was very suspicious and kept demanding evidence which he always produced. They are very good at producing fake documents too. These people are the scum of the earth and I hope they somehow end up in prison where they belong. They are liars and thieves, don't care about their victims and absolutely everything about them is fake. You will heal faster if you completly cut him off, block him from everything and understand you will never get your money back. And some day, you will meet a real man who is interested in you and not just your money. And don't forget to trash those fake pictures. If you imagine what he really looks like, it will get you totally out of the denial stage into anger. That's progress.
#62434 by pootas45 Wed Aug 17, 2011 1:03 am
It has been a few months since I have read on the forum. Almost a year since my scam. I read very harsh words tonight and i want to say to all whom have been scammed. It is heartbreaking and feels like you will not recover. You will and learn from it.
You have to let go of this anger towards the scammer or it will exhaust you. Educate yourself in learning the signs and remember them for future online chats or dating. They are very smart...those who are " very well versed and in the game to deep to get out". They most never work alone.
Sometimes after all the months they do tell the truth. Mine did and actually sent a real pic of himself. He is still out there , but does not have my heart anymore. But..he will always remember my name. :=)
Please be very careful and DONT EVER SEND MONEY IF ASKED. NOT EVER! I have posted on this site and it is very informative, but we are our best teachers. When that first time your instinct says..HUH? That is a quiet whisper...we must learn to listen. Thanks to all the support team... :D
#63972 by devastated Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:56 pm
Just saw these posts. Thanks for the continued postings. If you are saying we have harsh words for them, then that's just a small slap on the wrist for all they've done.
All I know now is the simplest way to "detect" anything is to just flat out not dish out any money to anyone period. I don't have anything really left to get anyways and will not jump through hoops or frantically try to find anyway in the future for anyone no matter how great and appealing they sound.
I think anyone, esp. a man, who would be willing to ask a lady esp. without any real or lifelong commitment first for money doesn't sound like a good deal anyways. Now I know... :x
#64542 by devastated Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:51 am
Great, after several weeks of his exit. Now I suddenly see him online again. I already went invisible and have no intent of contacting him but it could mean he might resurface and try to call me. My heart just jumped out of my ribcage to see signs of him.
And it's real frustrating because my work has went into overdrive as of late and I can't even get to doing all the proper reports to the authorities or work on reporting my losses which is just giving me so much more pressure because I got so much to do and then other important things to tend to. The whole thing is draining and exhausting. It's weird too because I suddenly was crying so hard over the entire nightmare just last night and because it's so painful that it was not real and such a deep and evil deception, and what I thought was so wonderful, it's sickening the effects of all this.
Anyways, before anyone harps on me, I've already posted all info. on the major sites and a lot of details and contacts since it was over so much time. I doubt the same name will be used but maybe some of all the other people or info. may be.

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