I've just been romanced scammed

i was just a victim of a Romance Scam, via Match.com. What started out as a "i was just cancelling my subscription & then i saw your profile" to the rapidly escalated "Will you spend the rest of your days with me" i was asked to pick him up at the airport - fortunately i didn't, who knows what may have occurred. a set up perhaps???
Like you, i was having alarms going off. i kept saying you don't now me, he would counter with more emotional BS. Avoiding key questions i had.
We all want love and we all want to hear beautiful things said to us. and do we deserve it? YES, but not at this cost. i was very fortunate that i discussed these feelings with a dear friend and she found Scamwarners and sent me the link immediately. i could not believe i was reading word for word, what was said to me, by email. it was the same "script".
i know this was not my fault - I do accept my part in it. Even tho my intentions were honest and true, this other persons was not.
as a final HURRAH TO ME !!! ... i turned the event around. i made up a lie - told him i had a major emergency and didn't know how i would pay for it & could i live at his house until this was fixed. (i was also given a false address) . 2 days later i received a text saying "have a nice life!" - i am presuming once they figured i had no money to send, they were done with me.
Sending healing light and protection to us all. we deserve it.
Gardengirl.

Hi and welcome GardenGirl.

Romance scammers IMO are the nastiest ones, because they take your emotions, and often times your money as well. I'm glad you avoided the money part of the equation and were able to break contact as you did. Keep the faith, and learn the signs of scammers in the romance scam section of this forum.

HB

Welcome to Scamwarners Gardengirl,

I am glad you avoided being scammed and a friend directed you here.

The scammer may contact you again with a new name, email address and pictures.

I'm glad you caught on before things got any further.

fortunately i didn't, who knows what may have occurred. a set up perhaps???

Just for your information,what happens next follows a standard formula.

You would have gotten an email or phone call (most likely a day or two before the supposed travel, though some scammers will actually wait until they are supposed to be on the plane. The contact may be from your 'love' or some other fictional person (often a 'doctor,' though really it's just the scammer using a different fake identity.) Your 'love' will have met with some kind of emergency.

-If by your 'love' he was robbed on his way to the airport, or he got to the airport and the authorities arrested him because he was carrying too much cash (intended to convince you he would be capable of paying you back) , or because he had some expensive gift for you (intended to make you feel guilty.) If he had a connecting flight it might happen at that point. In either case, he needs you to wire money immediately to rescue him, and he'll pay you back as soon as he gets to you (which will of course be never.) For some reason, no matter how much cash he is carrying, the fines or penalties can never be paid out of that cash.

-If a 'doctor' then your 'love' will be in the hospital. Most likely he was robbed and beaten, or he was hit by a car. Either way, he is now critically injured, unconscious, and in need of immediate medical care--but the hospital won't operate or provide the needed care until they are paid, and the only thing the 'doctor' could find is your contact info. You must send money immediately, or your 'love' will die.

I'm assuming that the scammer did manage to move things to email. Please post the name and email address he was using, as well as any unique messages he sent you.

Hi Gardengirl.
Good on you for talking to a friend and sharing your concerns. I'm really relieved to hear that you dodged him!
It's great that you've joined here and shared your experience. Now that you've had that experience I'm sure you'll spot them even quicker now. Did you report him on Match?
I've spent many hours reading through tons on the 419 Eater site and now I can pretty much smell scammers on the first email via Match. There are certain patterns to it all. They are usually 'Generous' or "Easy going' in their mid 40's to late 50's with not a lot, if anything, in their profiles. (But I have had some hilarious younger ones recently!)
Widows with military images and engineers seem to be a favourite. They all seek to get you off Match asap. Here's the second email I got from one tonight.
'Can we talk on what'sapp or yahoo IM???'

Many try to engage through IMs... They usually start with:

Hi there..
I'm xxx What's your name?..
That's a beautiful name. Tell me what you're really looking for on here.
I've just joined and you're the first person I've talked to. What's your experience on here? etc

Poor grammar is a bit of a dead give away also.
I'm just jotting this down as I'm thinking of it just in case it's of any use to you or anyone else who looks at this post..

You sound like a strong lady Gardengirl.
Please do keep checking in with your friend or anyone here though as it can just whip your legs from under you at times. I certainly had a bit of a roller coaster for the first month or so.
Healing light coming straight back atchya lady!
RTET

I believe I was scammed also, starting talking to a guy on Meetme.com, said he was a Sgt. Major in the army, was 45 yrs old and searching for his soulmate, well needless to say I fell for it, he did get money out of me, I feel so stupid, been talking to him since November by text. I have pictures he sent me, is there a way to find out if this guy really exists? I reported it on the CID site. Supposedly his name is Sgt. Major Brad Scotts, in Iraq on a classified mission,his uniform says Votava, that Votava was his security name, only me and the army knew his real name Brad Scotts, had no access to his account and needed me to request his leave by email to his commander. Since he was requesting leave he had to pay for it and his flight. Is there anything else that can be done to catch this guy??

I am glad you did not fall for the scam. I was scammed last summer by a smooth talking guy who claimed he was a civil engineer. Its taken time but I am over it and moving on with my life. These scammers are ruthless. The best defense is to post your exeriences on Scamwarners. I googled his picture and discovered his picture was under three different individuals. He tried to scam me again under a different name but used the same script as before.

Welcome driver27.
First of all, it IS a definite scam. No doubt about it. I am hoping that the amount of money you lost was relatively small, because the sad reality is that you are not getting it back.
I’m just going to address a few of your other points/questions

Supposedly his name is Sgt. Major Brad Scotts, in Iraq on a classified mission.

Soldiers on classified missions are not sharing that fact with strangers they met on the internet. That would be a HUGE security risk, and any soldier trustworthy enough to be sent on a classified mission is not going to be stupid enough to expose himself and his fellow soldiers to that risk.

his uniform says Votava, that Votava was his security name,

Only in the bizarre imaginations of African scammers would American soldiers have uniforms with fake names for security reasons. That’s not how the military works.

is there a way to find out if this guy really exists?

The man in the photos will be a real soldier whose last name is Votava. He does not know the scammer, and the scammer does not know him. If the soldier is still alive (scammers have used photos of dead soldiers too) he is most likely married, in a relationship, or just not looking for a woman.
At times victims or others have found the real soldiers. We generally recommend against trying—it is more likely to turn out badly than it is to turn out well. Often the solder (or his family) sees the contact as an invasion of his privacy. It is also very uncomfortable for him, dealing with how to interact with a woman who was scammed using his photo, It can also be hard for the victim to separate the real soldier from the scammer, and it makes it more difficult for her to move on. Some soldiers have been downright insulting to the victims, making them feel far worse than they did in the first place.

Is there anything else that can be done to catch this guy??

Not really. The scammer is in another country, far out of reach of local law enforcement. International investigations are extremely costly and very challenging from a political perspective. Unless the authorities believe there is a real national security issue, or there are LOTS of money losses reported that appear to trace to one scammer or group, a full-scale investigation is unlikely. Report the crime to the authorities, and hope for the best.

Thanks for the info, only wish I had found this site sooner!!!!

Hi me too!

Except I was daft enough to let it continue for 5 long mths! Do u hv his name even if its a false one,
Pls let me know

Mny thks