by Dotti
Cindy,
I am so sorry to hear you were scammed by this lowlife.
Unfortunately, if you sent the money to him by WU or Moneygram, there is basically no chance of recovering it. Nothing you know about him is real. He is in reality a young African man who is likely operating under several different identities, scamming several women at the same time. He is logging in from an internet cafe used by hundreds of people, so there is no simple way to tie any of the emails directly to him. He is operating entirely under false identities, and is likely an area where the police are usually very corrupt and will look the other way for a bribe. It is possible the money was picked up using false ID (but again, if he's operating from one of the main scammer-infested areas, he could pick up the money openly, simply giving a cut to the local police). If he gave you any phone numbers, they will track to cellphones that do not trace directly to him.
Your law enforcement can't do anything without the help of law enforcement in his country--local law enforcement can't arrange that, it must go through many political and legal channels. In the US, there is a special commission - IC3 - for these crimes. If all you lost was the money for a plane ticket, I'm assuming you lost $10,000 or less. The truth is, your loss is not high enough for them to act (I know that you have lost a lot of money, but in the eyes of the authorities it is not--there are people who have lost tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousand dollars to these scammers, so a loss of a few thousand is just not priority to them). However, we still encourage reporting these crimes to the appropriate agencies for 2 reasons--(1) they need to understand the scope of the problem so they will devote more resources to it, and (2) there is always a chance there are enough reports that appear to lead in one direction that authorities will pursue it.
He will not be coming to see you--he never was coming to see you, there is no plane ticket. He would simply create a last-minute problem that prevents him from coming (accident, robbed, daughter sick, work problem)--and that problem would conveniently require more of your money to be resolved. On occasion, the scammer will just disappear at this point, but more often they keep going if they think there is any chance to get more money.
As far as the future goes, the best thing you can do is cut all contact with him. Don't try to string him along as you don't want him causing problems for you. As tempting as it is to try to make him feel bad for how much he hurts you, it is best to understand that he has no conscience, and he honestly doesn't care. Scammers have no empathy, and no sense of responsibility for the harm they cause. They don't see their victims as real people--they are simply magas (fools) who are meant to be used for money. To him, you are just a means to an end, and all the romantic talk is scripts he has used on dozens of women simply to get more money.
Block him from your messenger, your phone, and your email. There is nothing to be gained by continuing contact with him, and you won't be able to heal from the experience until he is out of the picture. If he thinks he can manipulate you more, he will try to stay in contact, and wait for his next chance--once you have paid money, you are considered a good victim, and he will continue to try many different approaches, from declaring his love, to "confessing" (more lies), to threats and blackmail if he thinks those will work. The best way to avoid dealing with these, and get him to leave you alone, is to steadfastly block and ignore him.
I am so sorry to hear you were scammed by this lowlife.
Unfortunately, if you sent the money to him by WU or Moneygram, there is basically no chance of recovering it. Nothing you know about him is real. He is in reality a young African man who is likely operating under several different identities, scamming several women at the same time. He is logging in from an internet cafe used by hundreds of people, so there is no simple way to tie any of the emails directly to him. He is operating entirely under false identities, and is likely an area where the police are usually very corrupt and will look the other way for a bribe. It is possible the money was picked up using false ID (but again, if he's operating from one of the main scammer-infested areas, he could pick up the money openly, simply giving a cut to the local police). If he gave you any phone numbers, they will track to cellphones that do not trace directly to him.
Your law enforcement can't do anything without the help of law enforcement in his country--local law enforcement can't arrange that, it must go through many political and legal channels. In the US, there is a special commission - IC3 - for these crimes. If all you lost was the money for a plane ticket, I'm assuming you lost $10,000 or less. The truth is, your loss is not high enough for them to act (I know that you have lost a lot of money, but in the eyes of the authorities it is not--there are people who have lost tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousand dollars to these scammers, so a loss of a few thousand is just not priority to them). However, we still encourage reporting these crimes to the appropriate agencies for 2 reasons--(1) they need to understand the scope of the problem so they will devote more resources to it, and (2) there is always a chance there are enough reports that appear to lead in one direction that authorities will pursue it.
He will not be coming to see you--he never was coming to see you, there is no plane ticket. He would simply create a last-minute problem that prevents him from coming (accident, robbed, daughter sick, work problem)--and that problem would conveniently require more of your money to be resolved. On occasion, the scammer will just disappear at this point, but more often they keep going if they think there is any chance to get more money.
As far as the future goes, the best thing you can do is cut all contact with him. Don't try to string him along as you don't want him causing problems for you. As tempting as it is to try to make him feel bad for how much he hurts you, it is best to understand that he has no conscience, and he honestly doesn't care. Scammers have no empathy, and no sense of responsibility for the harm they cause. They don't see their victims as real people--they are simply magas (fools) who are meant to be used for money. To him, you are just a means to an end, and all the romantic talk is scripts he has used on dozens of women simply to get more money.
Block him from your messenger, your phone, and your email. There is nothing to be gained by continuing contact with him, and you won't be able to heal from the experience until he is out of the picture. If he thinks he can manipulate you more, he will try to stay in contact, and wait for his next chance--once you have paid money, you are considered a good victim, and he will continue to try many different approaches, from declaring his love, to "confessing" (more lies), to threats and blackmail if he thinks those will work. The best way to avoid dealing with these, and get him to leave you alone, is to steadfastly block and ignore him.
Need to post photos? http://scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=3219
Are you a victim of a romance scam? Read here for advice and FAQ's.
Are you a victim of a romance scam? Read here for advice and FAQ's.
